Lion and Mouse
Once upon a timethere was a lion sleeping in its nest, then there was a naughty little mouse to its tail, to its back, and to the lion's hair. Then the mouse danced and jumped on its head, so that the lion woke up.
The lion was angry and pounced on the rat and held it in its large claws, then the lion roared in anger at the behavior of the rat dancing on the body of the sleeping lion. "How dare you wake up my sleep! Don't you know that I am the King of all animals! Anyone who interferes with my rest, deserves to die! I will kill you and eat you!" said the lion to the mouse.
The mouse was frightened and trembling, then the mouse begged the lion to let it go. "Please don't eat me a lion! I didn't mean to wake you up, it was a mistake. I just played, please let me go and I promise I'll be your friend forever. Who knows that someday I can save your life?" said the rat to the lion so the lion would not eat it. Then the lion looked at the little mouse and mocked "You want to save my life? Is this a reasonable idea!" said the lion who was mocking the rat. "But you have made me laugh, and put me into a good mood again, so I will let you go". Then the lion opened his nails so the rat could go free.
Then a few days later, the lion was caught in the chase of the hunter, he struggled as much as possible, but he was unable to escape and became even more entangled in the rope. He let out a roar of anger that shook the forest.
When the mouse heard a roar, and the mouse immediately approached to the source of the roar and he saw the lion who was helpless. Then the mouse biting the rope that lured the lion until it broke so that the lion could escape the snare of the hunter. and the lion was very grateful to the mouse, and eventually they became true friends forever.
*Coda* : do not like to underestimate the ability of someone and even the smallest help will be very meaningful.
Your Narrative text can make me that it's life must be can help other people who need ours help. Without regardless of any circle.
BalasHapusOverall this narrative text is good.
It should be :
BalasHapus"There lived a lion sleeping...and a naughty little mouse..."
"Wake up my sleep" : "wake me up"
Exclamation mark (!) After "all animals" should be : question mark (?)
Shouldn't add "and" after comma (,)
It really entertain, but still any punctuation errors. In the first paragraph *Once upon a timethere* without space, so the correct is *time there*.
BalasHapusIn paragraph 2, *Wake up my sleep* the correct is *Wake me up*
Your first paragraph had a little wrong sentence. But, afterall, it's nice story.
BalasHapusIt should be : roared in angry/ roared angrily
BalasHapusThe generic structure is ok, but only a few punctuation mistake. We can learning more 😊
BalasHapusI like this story ida❤️ keep writing and fighting💕
BalasHapus